Feeling Better

I'm having a hard time coming up with something to blog about. I think it might have something to do with how I feel: like shit.

Being sick sucks.

My brain feels like boiled potatoes. My arms feel like they're putrefying from the inside out. My throat wants to retire. And my eyes feel like Megan Fox: hot. hot. hot.

If I could only latch onto something instead of bumping into random topics, I'm sure today's post would be better. At least it would have a chance to be entertaining. Instead, I'm just spouting off, without direction, without focus, without a point of view.

If I felt better, I might have something to say about all the damn Thanksgiving commercials featuring turkeys, like living turkeys are what Thanksgiving is all about. Yeah, that's a good one. 

If I felt better, I might have something to say about Joe Miller being a flaccid penis when it comes to losing to Lisa Murkowski's write-in campaign. You lost, Joe. Go home and bite your pillow already.

If I felt better, I might have something to say about John McCain and his strong opposition to overturning Don't Ask Don't Tell. What's the matter, John? Did you think when you were serving everyone was straight? Were those the good old days? As an ex-prisoner of war, you should have better manners. Compassion should ooze out of your pores. And you, more than anyone, should understand the desire fellow Americans have for serving their country, despite what happens in their personal, private lives.

If I felt better, I might have something to say about people who make animals wear clothes. There is a reason it's called Baby Gap and not Puppy Gap.

I can't wait to feel better.