Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ode to a Douche Bag

You sit behind us,
All loud and proud,
Wanting everyone to know
You're something special in the crowd.

Your girlfriend sits beside you,
Hardly, nary a word,
As you continue to make sure
Your teenage voice is loud and heard.

We all start to get it,
That you're one of those guys:
Two inches of dangling fury
Hangs between your thighs.

Please do us all a favor,
Because the movie is about to start,
Shut your fucking mouth
Before the theater gets dark.

One more thing while we're at it,
Get your feet off the back of my chair:
Hot women are on the screen,
And I don't care what's in your underwear.

The truth of the matter is
You're just a douche bag at heart.
I feel sorry for your girlfriend
Who can't tell a gentleman and a douche bag apart.

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