Nine Really Good Reasons

I am not the kind of person that watches as a disaster unfolds and thinks that will never happen to me. (Although, I can safely say getting trapped in a mine will never happen to me because fuck going into a mine.) In no way do I think I am exempt from experiencing any natural or man-made distaster. And because of this, I like knowing I am in shape. A healthy lifestyle isn't always about looking and feeling better. Sometimes, it's about the bigger picture.

For instance:

If I'm in a building that's collapsing, the odds that I can wiggle out from under something improve if my  muscles are strong, and I am smaller in size.

If someone comes into my place of work, guns blazing, there will be a lot of out of shape people behind me, acting as a bullet buffer, as I swiftly run away.

If I'm in a building that's on fire, and it's between saving me or someone twice my size, rescue workers will have an easier time getting me out. (I like those odds!)

If I lose my job and after months of trying to find another with no success I have to resort to joining the military, I will be a shoe-in.

If a superbug spreads throughout the land, my immune system, already functioning on a strong foundation, will be less susceptible to contracting any organ-eating, people-killing diseases.

If there is ever medical rationing, like in South Africa, being thinner and in good shape improves my chances for getting dialysis or other serious rationed treatment.

If I'm on a cruise ship, and it decides to hit an iceberg and sink, the life vests will fit me.

If I'm in a plane crash, I can easily make my way down the isle, quickly climb over seats (if I have to), burst through the exit door, and slide my way down to safety like I won first place in a really fucked up obstacle course.

If an end-of-the-world event takes place, my strong legs and lungs will get me to the ark on time.

If, right about now, you're thinking, 'Fuck you, asshole!' remember, no one is making you eat those donuts. I'm just making a case for you to put them down.