Let It Be

I'm well aware that television isn't real. That actors are following a script. So last night, when an actor said to gather all the dogs and poison them, I should have met the news with nothing more than a well-isn't-he-an-asshole shaking of the head. Instead, I squeezed my wife's hand and told her to help me. I could do nothing to stop the tears from filling my eyes. From thinking about the people who really feel that way and do poison dogs. From thinking about all the animals out in the world suffering, like I'm thinking right now. (Why did I have to go and bring it all up again?)

My wife looked at me and explained what I already knew--the dogs were paid actors, they were living a life of leisure, and they were having fun being on set. She was right. Still, it took me awhile to get a hold of myself.

If you haven't yet guessed it, yes, I am highly sensitive when it comes to animals.

I Am Legend almost sent me into cardiac arrest.

And Up almost killed me.

My wife is on constant commercial alert. As soon as the Sarah McLachlan songs starts, there is a panic to find the remote. I have yet to see that commercial in its entirety and for good reason. It could destroy me for days. In the arms of an angel is all I need to hear to remind me that animals are being mistreated, mishandled, and they are suffering. My wife is wise to not only keep me from it, but to keep herself from having to put me back together. She is sweet, kind, and downright wonderful when it comes to understanding my sensitivity makes me who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. Not to make fun of me or use it against me. She simply lets it be.

And in the same breath, when she clutches the arm of the sofa and her body turns to stone and she stops breathing, I spring into action, crawling around on the floor with the flashlight, waiting for the spider to crawl back out from under the sofa. Knowing that it is under her, where she is sitting, crawling around, making plans, is almost too much for her to handle. So I do what I can to keep her from it. I wrangle the little guys onto a piece of paper and throw them back outside. I would never taunt or tease her with them. I would never use them against her.

We all have our stuff. And when I think about how consuming stuff can become, I am grateful that my wife and I look out for each other. Otherwise, I may never get out of bed, and she may never sleep.