Two Hours of Bullshit

109. 17.

As I begrudgingly sat through the second installation of the Twilight movie saga last night, I could not get those two numbers out of my head.

I have many issues with Twilight. In all fairness, I tried reading the books, making it to page 140 in the first book before I decided I wasn't going to waste anymore of my life on it. Not only has the word "chagrin" been ruined for me forever, I also had a moral issue with the book.

When did it become permissible for a 109-year-old man to pursue a 17-year-old girl!?

I don't care how young he looks. I don't care if Edward is a virgin. He lived through the Depression. World War I and World War II. He was somewhere when Kennedy was assassinated. He witnessed the passing of civil rights. Bella, on the other hand, was shitting in her diaper when Nirvana hit it big. It's disgusting.

Age difference aside, I didn't mind the first Twilight movie. It was fairly entertaining. However, the second movie was an overwhelming pile of shit. I couldn't shovel it fast enough. I felt like I was watching the same scene over and over during the first thirty minutes:

Bella: I'm nothing.
Edward: You're everything.

Cut! Okay. Let's switch to the woods and do it again!

The script was incoherent and confusing, and there seemed to be absolutely no point.

Don't even get me started on what a pathetic, flip-flopping, boo-hooing, blank canvas that is Bella. The author, Stephenie Meyer, said she wanted Bella's character to be general so that every woman reading the book could see herself in Bella.

What self respecting woman would want to do that!? There is nothing remotely interesting about Bella. She has no guts. No backbone. No personality. Her validation and identity comes by way of the two men who choose to love her. And it's bullshit. Considering how many women--young and old--read the book and loved it, I fear for how those women see themselves. It's no wonder why there is a team for Edward and a team for Jacob, yet no team for Bella.

I can only hope that as the fantasy genre continues to gain popularity and steam, another author will deliver us a heroine worth rooting for. A heroine with substance. A heroine who makes her own decisions concerning the direction her life is heading, never once leaving it up to an old man who hangs out in a high school.