A Different Reality

Reality shows have taken over, saturating the airwaves with "everyday" people doing "everyday" things.

<Raising eyebrow.>

I've never slapped anyone in a bar. Never thrown a drink in someone's face. Never considered competing for money and stabbing someone in the back to get it. Never chest-bumped someone on the dance floor because they got a little too close to my woman. Never tried to juggle relationships. Never flown on a private jet. Never crashed a White House party. Never had plastic surgery. Never been pregnant and not known it. Never weighed so much I couldn't get out of bed. Never wrote a book simply because I had six-pack abs. Never held a competition to find love. But we're to believe these things are normal.

I understand reality programming saves networks money. But the premise is growing mold. There's too much. It's starting to stink up the place. Rot the core. And it's putting me to sleep. 

It's time to start letting people die.

If you are voted off Survivor, you get left out in the middle of nowhere with no food or water. If you don't win Top Chef, you lose a hand. Can't get the people's votes on American Idol? Too bad. Off with your head. A-aw...he didn't pick you to love and cherish for forever and ever? Sorry, but stones will be tied to your feet and you will be thrown into the ocean, or a lake; whichever is closest. You're fired! Off the top of a building you go. You spend the summer perusing the boardwalk of a seaside town. Guess what? When the summer's over, you're fed to sharks. Housewife today, blown up in a kitchen tomorrow.

Reality television validates completely ridiculous behavior. If the stakes were higher, we would see how bad people really want Fame! Money! Bragging rights! The average idiots would be weeded out. Don't fret. Reality programming wouldn't disappear. It would simply be elevated with a new brand of idiot.

One person always wins, and there are egos willing to accept the challenge. We see it all the time: the one person who knows they're going to win but ends up going home on the first show. All that would change is we'll never see that person again. It puts a wrench in the reunion show, but the trade off might very well be worth it.