That's the Spirit

Last night, my wife and I went to a local restaurant with friends. We had no idea what we were getting into. The St. Patrick's Day Parade took place earlier in the day so it was a festive atmosphere. A band greeted one with their folksy Irish sound as soon as one opened the door. There were people everywhere, crammed into tables too small to accommodate their large parties. The wait staff, unsettled, ran around like there were fires in every corner, like they hadn't had a moment to breathe all day.

When my wife and I sat down, the company we kept for the night pointed out a girl they saw puke against the side of the building only moments before. Apparently, she'd taken the time to change out of her shorts and into pants and was ready for more. She stood unsteadily on legs that wobbled and seemed unsure, putting on airs that she was fine, just fine.

That's the spirit. Saint Patrick would be proud.

I watched a seven(ish) year-old-girl drag a three(ish) year-old-boy down a small - four at the most - flight of stairs. His body was stretched out as she dragged him by his hands. They ran up the stairs, all a giggle, ready to do it again, knocking into wait staff, disregarding everyone because they - fun always trumps duty - had the right of way. When I questioned what was going on and how something like that happens in a public place of business, it was pointed out to me that the parents were drunk.

That's the spirit. Saint Patrick would be proud.

St. Patrick's Day, a religious holiday intended to celebrate the Irish patron saint, Saint Patrick, has been reduced to drinking green beer and watching girls puke against the side of buildings.

This Easter, let's show the Irish they aren't the only ones who get to have a fun religious holiday. Fill those plastic eggs with jello shots. Send the children to their rooms to gorge on chocolate while you drink pastel colored vodka - thanks Stoli! - out of hollowed chocolate bunnies. Take a keg to your local cemetery and get so shit-faced you think your besty puking against a headstone is Jesus rising from the grave - again.

That's the spirit. Jesus would be proud.