Half-assed

Ugh. I'm in no mood to do this today. But I made a promise to myself that I would, so here goes.

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Crickets are all that come to mind.

Surely there's something inside me that wants to come out besides mucous and excrement. All I've done this past week is poop, blow my nose, cough, and sleep. And honestly, that's all I want to do today. (Not that I'm looking forward to spending more than my average time pooping. I'd like my intestines to return to their regularly scheduled duties. Yes, I said doodies.) The end of my nose can easily be mistaken for under-cooked hamburger, and the heat from my eyes is one degree away from shooting a laser into my diseased pile of slimy Kleenex. I'm tempted to include a link to Honey Boo Boo's Thanksgiving feast so I'll not be the only person you find disgusting. 

I don't feel good, and I'm never going to be the kind of person who fakes it. This sickness-riddled rambling is all I have to give today. Next Monday, when this system has moved out of my body, I promise something less half-assed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a tissue. My cough drop just flew out of my mouth when I sneezed and snot is exiting my face like there's been a nose fire.

I can't wait to be a full ass again.