Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Making Threats

I made a mistake yesterday. What was meant to be an I'm-bringing-the-heat-so-don't-mess-with-me kind of threat turned into an opportunity for others to mention the size of my hands.

Never say, I'm taking off the kid gloves, when you do, in fact, wear kid gloves.

When you wave to someone across the room as you're making your way towards them, and they greet you by saying, "Let me see your tiny hands!", you might wear kid gloves.

When you place your hand against someone else's hand and their palm is bigger than your entire hand, you might wear kid gloves.

When a baby grabs your finger and the only visible part of your finger is the tip, you might wear kid gloves.

When your hands can't grab anything off the top shelf because they...just...can't...get...there, you might wear kid gloves.

When a tourist asks to see your pointy ears and wonders if you tread lightly when you're loitering near a stream, you might wear kid gloves.

When you threaten to take off the kid gloves and you take off Hello Kitty mittens, you might want to choose your threats more carefully.

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