Monday, November 19, 2012

Slapping Bitches

It has been awhile since I've had an overwhelming urge to open-hand slap someone across the face. Plenty have been considered--Kim Kardashian after she took the "sanctity of marriage" and poured expensive champagne all over it; Newt Gingrich because, well, he's Newt Gingrich; Donald Trump as he struggles to remain relevant--but it wasn't until last week, when Mitt Romney insulted me by saying I'm looking for gifts from Obama, that I started taking practice swings at pillows.

So you're the candidate who wouldn't make it rain and that's what sunk you.

Sounds like something a little bitch would say.

Let me lay it out for you, Mitt. The only gift I'll receive for not voting for you is not having you referred to as President of the United States for the next four years. Even if you'd offered the gift of extending the Bush tax cuts and I was a millionaire, it still wouldn't be a bigger gift than that. To suggest otherwise is egotistically irresponsible.

It takes a true little bitch to not admit playing a part in his own loss. But a true little bitch tries everything he can to keep his starting quarterback position on a team that wants to make the rules.

Little bitches, man. You just can't get close enough to give them a gift of your own.

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