Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Open Letter: Governor Rick Perry

Dear Governor Perry:

Bravo, Governor. It looks like the day of prayer you held on August 7th, asking for God's help with our nation's and states' crises, is working wonders. It may have taken a little time but nothing says "I hear what you're saying" like hurricanes and wildfires.

I bet we both can't help wondering how God could have spared those heathens of New York City - Hurricane Irene downgraded to a tropical storm...pathetic - yet decided to withhold water and then set your Good Christian state of Texas on fire.

I bet we both can't help wondering how all your state's damage is going to be paid for, too. 

You've said it yourself, Governor: government needs to be smaller. If you take a single cent of federal money, you're going to look like a horse's ass. Well, now, let's hold on a minute. You've already said Texas should secede from the union, that you don't believe in evolution or climate change, and social security is a ponzi scheme. What's that saying...if the (horse)shoe fits?

Anyway, in these trying times it's important to remember "real" Americans don't need handouts. All they need is prayer. Right, Governor?

Rick, I'm going to lay it out in your no-bullshit style: I think God is trying to tell you something. Stop polishing your gun, put the uteruses aside, and smell the smoke already. If you can't fully commit just yet, using the millions of dollars you'll raise for your presidential campaign to help the people of your state would show signs of good listening faith. Like the unemployed can pray for jobs, you can pray you get the nomination.

Good luck in the debate on Wednesday!

Whack-A-Muse

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