Back to this, are we?
Pardon me while I recover from the gulp! - please - and gasp! - whatever - of another man in a position of power doing something sexually shady with women other than his wife, and lying about it before coming clean.
This narrative is as fresh and exciting as another season of Survivor, as another Hulk movie, as another wiener joke. If political figures were novels, Congressman Anthony Weiner's would be rejected due to a flooded market of similar stories containing dirtier dirt, like pay-offs and prostitutes.
Facebook messages are the equivalent of a pinch on the ass. They pale in comparison.
While Mr. Weiner's apology did lead to tears - poor Anthony. I bet he broke down after he sent each salacious text message, too - the melodrama still wouldn't be enough to garner publication.
You want to make a scandalous splash these days you tap your foot in a bathroom, hire a boy to carry your luggage in an airport after taking a trip together abroad, fall in love with a foreigner, or pay off an entire family. Sexting is child's play, Anthony. You get that woman on all fours, thump your chest, and leave a stain on the dress.
That's a proper scandal, dumbass!
The picture of you on the sofa with a cat beside you where you so "cleverly" announce you're with your pussy...laaaaaame. Next time put your dick on a cutting board, pack vegetables - small vegetables, like baby carrots; you don't want competition - around it, and announce dinner is ready.
If you're going to get busted, and it's only a matter of time before you do, make the reason you lose your job count. Do something deliciously naughty. Put a belt around your neck. Take a picture with a finger up your ass. Release a sex tape where you're giving it to Michele Bachmann. Or actually meet your conquests. Do something that doesn't reduce you to another Weiner joke.
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