Seven Things

Months ago fellow blogger Melanie McCullough tagged me in a "Seven Things About Me" post and it was up to me to turn around and do the same. Bless Melanie's heart, I was touched. Thankful. And frozen.

Insert hyperventilation. These things make me nervous. So let's start there.

One: Being included in chain mails scares me. Not because I think breaking the chain will lend to a burning sensation when I pee, or give me horrible luck for the next ten years, or force me to watch every season of Big Brother, but because I feel pressure to perform. Performing makes me uneasy, which I realize is ridiculous considering if I ever break into the writing world this expectation will increase tenfold.

Two: At the age of eight, I vomited in a movie theater's bathroom sink while waiting for The Empire Strikes Back to start. Combine that with vomiting in my dinner plate after a loud clap of thunder and one might say I was a nervous child.

Three: I was in a play where my character walked across the stage naked. Twice. This also meant I walked across the stage naked. Twice. A few weeks after the show closed I was outside doing yard work. Two women walked by and pointed at me. "You were in that show, right?" one asked. I still - especially when I'm in the open-space produce section of the grocery store - wonder how many people have seen me naked.

Four: No one can ever, and I mean EVER!, grab the front of my neck. If someone knows how I feel about the front of my neck and decides it would be a slap-to-the-knee-riot to pretend to grab the front of my neck, I will rip them in half and bathe in their organs. (Newsflash: it's not funny, asshole.) I can't lean my head back in the car. When I sleep, my chin is tucked towards my chest and the covers cannot rest on my neck.

Five: I think I may have been strangled in a past life. And I never want to have a threesome.

Six: Thankfully, I don't embarrass as easily as I once did; otherwise, one of my most embarrassing moments would have been last week when my butt mistakenly made noise in a room full of people I didn't know.

Seven: My most embarrassing moment was during a farting contest with my cousins while in an amusement park. I went above and beyond and a little shit came out. (But I won, right?) I told my mother, as she scrubbed my unmentionables clean, I was sick to save face. Sorry, Mom; I felt fine.

So now I pass the torch to five of my fellow bloggers. Thank me, or don't; do it, or don't, ladies. No worries. For me, it's simply about sharing the love.

1. Sally Hepworth
2. Claudia C.
3. Johanna K. P.
4. Karolyn Sherwood
5. Angela Kulig