Eat Shit

Somebody hold me.

This has to be a joke, right? 

As long as I don't know what I'm eating and it tastes good, it's okay by me. I hear statements like this more often than Anthony Weiner sends a sext.

Is that right? Ignorance is bliss, you say? Then, please, allow me to be the first to introduce you to the human shit steak.

Oh yeah. You heard me correctly. Human. Shit. Steak. I wish I was making up stories, spinning yarns, yanking chains, but like the child whose small intestine was sucked out by a pool drain, this shit (pun intended) is real.

In an industry - factory farming - where feeding humans animal feces is acceptable - to those of you who say cheeseburgers are good and you can't taste the shit at all, I ask you, who tastes the bay leaf in a marinara sauce? Doesn't mean it's not there - it comes as no surprise that a way to make us eat our own shit has been discovered.

Reports say the human shit steaks taste like, well, steak. You think!? Who would eat a human shit steak if it tasted like human shit!?

I raise my glass to those who think ignorance is bliss. I'm not going to be the one responsible for shattering the illusion, telling you animals and their shit tastes just as good as the proteins found in your own shit. All I'll say is, Cheers and enjoy.